Ruining the Moment
by janie17
Summary: "Imagine your OTP making out passionately on the bed for the first time, only for Person A to fall off the edge of the bed and ruin the moment." T for Jack's colourful vocabulary, one-shot


AN: I got the idea for this from a post on tumblr that said "Imagine your OTP making out passionately on the bed for the first time, only for Person A to fall off the edge of the bed and ruin the moment." And the moment I read that, Janto popped into my head. I had to get it down on paper and am taking a tiny break from school work to type and upload it! So I hope you like it bc I should really be looking at class options.

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Jack leapt down into his bunker, ignoring the last few rungs of the ladder. He grabbed Ianto by the lapels, dragging him forward for a searing kiss as one hand snaked into his hair. Without breaking contact he walked them towards the small camp bed, gently shoving his new lover down upon it.

Ianto gasped as their hips brushed together. "Oh god," he groaned appreciatively at the friction.

"That's sweet," Jack shot back smirking, "but Captain is fine." He began to leave hot, open-mouthed kisses along Ianto's neck as he worked open the buttons of his dress shirt, haphazardly tossing his tie somewhere behind them in the process.

"You are so…nnugh…insufferable," Ianto panted. His fingers dug into the thick muscles of Jack's back through the cotton shirt he wore.

Neither was sure what caused it to happen, but one moment Jack had been tugging off Ianto's shirt and the next he was on the cold cement floor.

"What the hell?" he muttered as he sat up right. Rubbing his neck he looked up at Ianto who was partially sitting up, watching him with a slight look of panic. Then suddenly Ianto was laughing, hysterically, completely, and unapologetically. Jack chuckled a little before scowling as he realised that the younger man, flopped backwards with tears streaming down his face, showed no sign of stopping.

Jack rose from the ground and brushed himself off. He shoved Ianto's legs over to give himself room to sit on the small bed. "Oh, come on," he grumbled, "It wasn't that funny."

Ianto took a moment before responding, gasping for air as he fought for the ability to speak. "I know, I know," he chuckled. "I'm just really relieved."

"Relieved?" Jack's left eyebrow shot towards his hairline. "Care to elaborate on that one, Jones?"

"Oh my god. I haven't laughed that hard in forever," Ianto muttered.

"I'm very happy for you," Jack deadpanned back. "But I ask again, and not for the joy of hearing my wonderful voice, relieved?"

"Well, yeah. I mean…you're the great Captain Jack Harkness, sex-god of Torchwood Three. People at One would _talk_ about you. And I'm just Ianto Jones, junior researcher turned housekeeper. So the chances of me making a fool of myself were much higher than you, and I just knew somehow someone was going to be made a fool of."

"If you look at it that way, I totally get the relief, even if I can't imagine you making a fool of yourself."

"You obviously don't know me very well then, sir," Ianto said fighting a smile at Jack's words.

"Well, maybe we should fix that?" he suggested. "Now," he purred, kneeling over Ianto, "want to find out why they call me a sex-god?" Ianto burst out in a fit of laughter again. "For the love of God, Ianto! What?!"

"Sorry!" he choked out between laughing and coughing. "I just…pictured…you…falling again." His sentence was broken by gasps for air as the younger man attempted—and failed—to restrain his laughter.

"You know why this isn't actually funny? Because that floor is cement, Ianto. I could have broken something. I could have died. It wouldn't be so funny if I had died," Jack scolded. Huffing he added, "And you sound like a dying seal right now. So there." Quite proud of himself for not giving into the urge to stick out his tongue, he stood from the bed, muttering, "I'm going to make some coffee. Feel free to join me when you're done." Ianto's laughter followed him up the ladder.

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AN: Poor Jack. I feel bad for him, but he is so much fun to mess with! Reviews are beautiful, just like you!


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